As
of last week, I have now taught four classes of English 9 Writing. It’s still
kind of weird, but every week I look forward to it, so that’s a good sign.
My
first class went pretty well. I was on day 3 of a raging headache, and while
that kept me from crafting my “teacher persona” and how I planned to carry
myself and act around the students, it also prevented me from having time to
get stressed out. I just focused on getting through the outlined lesson plan
from last year’s teacher (who is also my department chair—a little
intimidating!) and not squinting in pain.
I
forgot what 9th graders are like, and this group of six is pretty
delightful. Within the first 5 minutes, I felt like I had their personalities
pegged. I used to love high school movies, or rather, I do still love the high
school movies of my day (Heathers,
Breakfast Club, Jawbreaker, Can’t Hardly Wait, 10 Things I Hate About You, the
TV show My So-Called Life…), but I’ve
watched some of the modern high school movies and they don’t hit that same soft
spot in me.
But,
out of my love of high school movies of the 80s and 90s, I really wanted to
write about my students and what I learned about them. I wrote it all up, giving
them pseudonames to protect their identities, but my legal
staff recommended I not put that up online. (One mom is already giving me dirty looks because her daughter isn't doing so well.) But if you would still like to read
it, email me and I will send you an addendum. J
The
hardest part of my job is the grammar. I seriously have not been taught the
formalities of grammar since the 4th grade, when I was in Catholic
school. I know AP style, and even MLA to a degree, but not the technical names
of everything in grammar. I know what sounds right, and what’s wrong, even if I
can’t name the reason why it’s wrong, and I think that’s what it really matters
in life. But maybe not what matters as an English teacher. This school teaches grammar all
along, but 9th grade is the beginning of when things start to get
less formal. So I told my class that—hey, you kids that have had grammar for 8
years before this, that’s great, but now that you understand it, just start
using it and we’ll stop drilling you about it. New kids, I’m sorry, but there
are still some exercises in the homework that are going to be pretty hard for
you if you don’t know what a participial phrase is, but just read the page
about it BEFORE doing the exercises on the next page and you’ll probably get
them right.
How
do I know? Because I’m doing those exercises, too. We teachers do not get a
teacher’s manual. I have the same version of Warriner’s “English Composition
and Grammar” that they do, and I do the homework a week before them (or rather,
two nights before class) and then I review it with them. Some of this is really
hard! The hardest is when I know my answer is right, but they have a different
answer and I’m not 100 percent sure if their answer is wrong. Usually I reach
out to Josh or friends that I think are good at grammar. (If you are
technically good at grammar—and I mean you know the names of all the parts of
speech and the rules that govern them—let me know and I’ll add you to my list.)
The
first week of school, I told the students that it’s been years since I’ve had
grammar and that I’m learning it right beside them, so if they ever think I’m
wrong, please speak up because I very well may be wrong. But they must not have
been listening, because on week 3 there was a question in the homework that I
could not figure out, so I called on my best grammar student to see if she got
it, and she didn’t, so then I offered extra credit to whoever (or is it
whomever?) could figure that one out by next week. Then about 5 minutes later, the
student asked, “So do you not have the answers?” And I said, “No, I have the
same textbook as you, and I have to do the homework too to know the answers.”
And all of their jaws dropped. They asked if I wasn’t sure that the answers
weren’t in the back, or that maybe they had given me the wrong book, or maybe I
could find the teacher’s manual on eBay, and I said no, this is the way it is,
and I’m OK with that. Well that earned me a ton of respect. I left that day
feeling so happy that they now had a concrete reason to like me. (Because I’m
not sure if they like me. I think they like that I’m usually done 5 to 10
minutes early, but I also think they think I’m too-tough of a grader.)
Grammar
is just part of the class, the other part is writing. We have two textbooks for
writing, the first one that basically elaborates on the five paragraph essay,
and the other that focuses on the progymnasmata, or the ancient Greek method of
progressing through different writing tasks with logic. I’ve never had logic
before, and it’s really awkward. I see how this would be helpful to a budding
lawyer, but I don’t get how these kids are supposed to use it in normal life.
But the textbook pulls a lot of examples from newspapers, so I guess I was
writing with logic without even knowing it.
I
still don’t know if I’ve developed my teacher persona. I let tangents go on
longer than I want to. One day we had an excellent tangential conversation when
not two, but THREE students finished the sentence “________________ is better
than going to the dentist” with “going to the doctor is better than going to
the dentist.” They were supposed to be writing a sentence with parallel
structure, and three females thought going to the doctor is better than going
to the dentist, the boy thought that was crazy because bad things can happen at
the doctor’s office too and they could have used anything they wanted to start
that sentence, and one girl said she loves going to the dentist and the feeling
of metal in her mouth. I don’t think I’ll ever look at her the same way. Another
problem I have is when one student is whispering to another, conversationally, and
I don’t know how to stop them. I mean, I guess I say, “could you please pay
attention,” but I think this week I’m going to have to do something bigger
about it.
It
took me a couple of months to develop my “reporter persona” and I suppose
teaching will be the same way. I’m kind of looking at this whole year as a
trial year, but I’m hoping we like the school for Rye and that I can keep
teaching this class next year because I will already have done all the homework
and have all the answers—boo-ya! Next year will be a snap! It will be nothing
but grading homework and showing up for an hour a week, and grading homework is
kind of my favorite part. Did I ever tell you that if we were super wealthy and
had no heirs, I wanted to give our money away through essay contests? And I
wouldn’t have just given the money to the best one; I would have critiqued
every essay and told them how much they suck.
The
other part of teaching that I’m still working out is how to dress. Teachers are
told to dress “business casual,” and it specifically states no jeans. When I
retired from being a fulltime journalist, I threw all my work pants away. Except
the jeans I probably wore 3 days a week. I had kept one pair of khakis that I
recently tried on, and while I’m thinner now than I was then, I should never
have bought them in the first place because the leg width is far too wide for
my short stature. And then I have 8 pairs of blue jeans, 1 pair of white jeans
and 1 pair of black jeans, and 2 pairs of jean-cut corduroys that I’m wondering
whether I can get away with or not. I went shopping at the mall in August and
tried on 3 pairs of pants, and I couldn’t do it. I’m not going to buy pants I
hate just to fit the once a week expectation of dressing up. I have 2 dresses I
can wear, and 1 skirt (my other 2 skirts are also denim). The first two weeks I
paid close attention to what the others teachers are wearing, and honestly, no
one looks very comfortable in their clothes. A lot of them looked like they
also wrangled something up from the back of their closet that they had
forgotten about and are wearing them now just to fit the bill. And I don’t want
to be like that. So I plan to very carefully purchase a few more items that I
can mix in with my nice tops so that I can look comfortable and BE comfortable
in my clothing skin. I did buy a cute pair of tan leather ballet flats that I
love and which should go with any outfit. That was my reward to myself for
making it through my first day of teaching.
Rye
is really liking the school too. I think it’s the perfect amount of busy for
him the two days he’s there, with lessons in handwriting, geography, history,
poetry, science, Latin and art or music, depending on the day. And the days at
home are a good balance of chill to all that. We haven’t been very formal about
our homeschooling at home, but we try to fit in a reading lesson from “Teach
Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons” five days a week, including weekends if
we have to, and we’re just starting to incorporate some math on those days too.
It’s hard to balance the normal stuff of life, and Knox’s demands for
attention, with homeschooling, but we’re also big fans of “unschooling.”
Unschooling is basically explaining stuff to your kids all day long and
answering their questions with true and thorough information. And Rye is a
child of passion. Once he’s interested in a topic, he wants to know EVERYTHING
about it, and who’s to say his knowledge of brands of excavators or
construction demarcation aren’t important? I mean, it’s not what I would CHOOSE
to fill that little sponge of a brain of his up with, but a brain that operates
like that probably has more nooks and crannies in it than I could ever imagine.
Thanks
for everyone who has asked about my teaching and wished me well! I have so much
more respect for teachers now, and particularly NEW teachers, who despite all
that schooling, are probably learning a heck of a lot on the job as each
situation arises. And I guess I respect longer-careered teachers for not
getting burnt-out.
And
for you grammar nerds, here’s the one that stumped us:
Combine
these two sentences using a noun clause: “The wheel was invented long ago.
Exactly when is still unknown.”
