OK, before I get to specific goals for
2019, and I’m happy to announce that I have found my motto for 2019. I like the idea of
having a one-word motto for each year, but sometimes one word is not enough.
And I got this motto from a sign in Michael’s that made me laugh when I saw it,
but I decided it was just the reminder that I need: “Today is a good day for a
good day.”
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| It hangs on the outside of my office, in the dining room. I plan to center it better. |
Silly, right? But one of my biggest
problems, and this has been the case since Rye was 2, is that I let someone
else’s negativity, (cough, “my children’s!”) put me in a sour mood and then it
feels like the day cannot be redeemed. This is especially bad in my household
because we’re early risers, so the day is often ruined by 8:30 a.m. That leaves
a lot of miserable time left on the table.
I’ve asked for advice on this at my
Mothers of Preschoolers meetings, and no one seems to have figured this one out.
Or rather, for some moms, they just don’t have this problem, and for the ones
that it is a problem, we don’t know what to do about it. On the really bad
days, such as when Rye is constantly giving me ultimatums and making threats to
take away all of my privileges, or Knox keeps hitting me when he’s mad about the
directions he’s being given, or the two of them keep fighting with each other
about stupid stuff, then I put on my giant headphones and either play music or
just pretend I can’t hear them. Sound on or sound off, it helps take the edge off. I’ve decided my sign is going to remind me that today can still be a
good day, and my kids are going to hear this expression repeated back to them
many, many times.
Now, as for goals. Last year was BIG. I’m
ready to have a small year. Lower my expectations. Instead of 19 goals for 2019,
I’m going for 9. And they are:
1.
Have 1 Carrie Day
per month.
As I mentioned in my wrap up of 2018, having Carrie Days is the biggest thing I
can do for my mental health. They are my lifeline to my pre-parenting self,
when I could come and go and linger and explore and practice as I pleased. I
will not let them fall to the wayside this year!
2.
Have 1 Date Night
a month.
If I deserve a day by myself, Josh and I surely deserve a time away together
per month.
3.
Read 18 books this
year.
I’m not sure how many books I read in a typical year, but this year I want to
be more intentional about reading. I plan to keep a list of all the books I
read, even those I quit. And I’m giving myself permission to quit a book I
don’t like, because I’ve found that if I don’t like a book, I avoid reading,
and then it’s even more time before I start something I do like. And sadly this
happens to me a lot, because I’m usually grabbing random books from library
shelves without reading the book jackets or having heard of them before because
I’m trying to keep track of the kids. As I was writing this, I took a break and
created an account on Goodreads.com, which makes recommendations on books based
on your ratings, kind of like a Netflix for books. I’m really excited to get
better ideas for books through this, and then I can request the books to be put
on hold for me at the library so I can pick them up from the reserve shelves
faster than I could ever choose a book from the stacks.
4.
Keep a
one-sentence diary.
I have a terrible memory, and I enjoy keeping planners on paper, if only so if
I’m trying to remember when I bought that deli ham I can look through my
planner and see that I went to the grocery store on Monday, and yes, it should
still be good. But I want to remember more than just my lists of errands and responsibilities, but I get overwhelmed by actually writing in a paper journal the thoughts and emotions that make up my day. So I’m using the app Simple Diary, which simply allows
you to write something in each day’s line. So far I’ve kept up with it, never
getting more than a day behind. To give you an example of the exciting life I
lead, some recorded entries include “I have a sore throat” and “Because the plumber couldn't go to Scott's PA job, Scott and Nick came here and my office is now 1 day away from being done!”
5.
Buy a new
computer.
This one is a pain. I hate technology, and my Lenovo laptop drives me nuts. I
had a Lenovo for the last 5 or 6 years at my job, and I loved it, so I bought
one about a year after sharing Josh’s laptop, which also drives me nuts because
it’s super slow. But about a year into owning my computer, perhaps when we got
a new modem or something, it started giving me a ton of problems with using the
internet. Some days it drops my internet connection every two minutes, so I
constantly have to refresh the connection. Some days it’s fine, but never for
more than three days at a time. And sometimes it just turns off in the middle
of doing things. Sometimes it turns itself off over night. It’s just extremely
inconsistent. Because the only ways I use my computer are to connect to the
internet to read, email and shop, and create documents, I’ve decided to go with
a Chromebook. I finally picked out one I liked from HP, only to find it’s sold
out everywhere. So now I’m trying to see if I want the newer model or not. Ugh.
But I plan to pull the trigger on this decision by the end of the month.
6.
Be more creative. And to be more
specific, make something creative quarterly, in any art or craft genre. I
greatly enjoy the achievement of having made something creative (which also means finishing it), so these will
be small tasks, but it will feel good to be doing them, even if they are small
or easy.
7.
And going along
with being creative, I plan to look for inspiration. Creative people need to be exposed
to creative stuff for inspiration. I’ve talked to other people in the art
world, and that’s a thing. So I want to try to go to more local art shows and
maybe a museum once a year and then find ways to expand my repertoire through
these experiences. Like right now there’s a quilt show at the Carroll Arts
Center that I really want to go see. I don’t think I’ll take up quilting, but
maybe it will give me a good idea for collage, a medium I have been really interested
in starting.
8.
Put more effort
into gardening this year. I really appreciate attractive curb appeal, but we
keep putting off real landscaping because we want to renovate the porch (some
structural stuff required as well as the cosmetic stuff) so I don’t think I’ll
get to do the front garden bed yet, though I am thinking of putting pansies in
for the spring because they’re just so darn cheerful. Last year we finished all
the masonry work on the foundation so we can finish anything with the perimeter
of the house. And I’ve kind of ignored the front corner garden for the past two
years, so that needs some love. I could add a few more perennials, it needs
more mulch, and definitely some fertilizer. We also bought a dump truck of topsoil last year to correct the grading around the house's perimeter, and it seemed to work, and I was really dedicated to watering the grass and it worked, but we still have about 1/4 of the dirt pile left that needs to be spread out and re-seeded, and it is the gigantic eyesore that Josh and I cannot wait to be over with. Rye's looking forward to just shoveling up the dirt into his wheelbarrow and helping to move it, whether we ever plant over the dirt or not.
9.
Accept help when
it’s offered.
I really try to be there and say yes to others when they need help, so when
they’re offering to help me, I should let myself say yes to that too. I think
that should be a resolution for everyone! Giving and receiving help is a big
part of being in community. We don’t have to be strong all the time. Accepting
help is not weakness. Let life be easier if you are in the blessed position
where it can be easier! Plus it makes you more willing to give to others in
return, and not just to the people who helped you, but to people in general.
Let your cup be filled so it can overflow unto others.
I had read another interesting piece about
having an “Every Damn Day List,” in which you think of five things that you can
do every day to make you feel like that day was a success even if you didn’t
necessarily accomplish something that moves you forward in life. They are
meant to be really simple, and this author’s list included things like drink
three glasses of water per day, spend ten minutes outside every day, eat at
least one fruit or vegetable per day. The idea is that these are things that
are good for you but that are easy to ignore, but just as easy to do if you
make it a point to do them. They are not to be lofty goals, or anything that
takes more than 15 minutes. I’m still playing around with this idea, but I’m
not ready to commit yet. We’ll see.
What are you planning to do differently in
2019? I would love to hear from you guys too! As I saw on a Facebook post at
New Year, “Don’t live the same year 89 times and call it a life.” And I think
having goals and areas of focus help keep us from doing that.
