Has
it really been 2 and ¾ years since I’ve written my blog? I could have sworn it’s
only been 2 and ½.
If
this gap had happened between 2010 and 2012, I would have said you hadn’t
missed much. Sure, Josh and I had gone on some really nice vacations and
attended some great friends’ weddings, but the resumes of our lives still
looked the same: same spouse, same jobs, same house, same family structure—DINK+2C
(Double Income, No Kids, 2 Cats).
Surprise!
Fast forward to January 2015 and that’s all changed. We had a kid! I quit my
job! We still live in the same house, but a couple of months ago, even that was
up for debate. We still have the two cats, but they have sunk in significance.
When people used to ask us if we had kids, Josh would always answer “No, but we
have two cats.” (I wouldn’t because talking about your pets is never relevant
to the question of whether you have kids. If the asker wanted to know if you
have pets, they would have asked that question.)
When
people ask me how I’m doing these days, it’s hard to answer personally. I
usually start out by talking about how much sleep Rye (our son) is getting, and
how early he’s getting up (which directly correlates to how much sleep I’m
getting), and I talk about people I’ve seen lately and what’s going on in their
lives. When the few press on to repeat they were asking about ME, I try to
think of something more to say than just “tired” or “OK.”
Being
a stay-at-home mom is hard! The first year was incredibly hard, because as a
mom acquaintance put it, “you’re in baby prison.” Babies need to sleep about 90
minutes every 2 hours. It’s a constant cycle of feeding and trying to get them
to sleep and then letting them sleep. It’s really hard to get out to do simple things
like go to the gym and grocery store, but to do something social—especially with
friends who also have kids who also take naps and constantly need to eat and
are fighting both—it can seem more trouble than it’s worth. Sadly. So when Josh
would tell me on a Saturday morning to go out and have some free time, I really
relished it. I could get in and out of the car in under 5 seconds! I could go
to Target or Marshall’s and just wander around without having to make every
decision in 10 seconds or less so the cart would keep moving! I could make 5
errands in a row without worrying about a meltdown in checkout!
I’m
sorry, I’m veering into a mommy rant. I do NOT want my blog to become a venting
spot for parenting frustrations. Because very little of that is original. So if
I do want to expound on parenting stuff, I will try to make sure that it is
original, or, at least, that my filtering of it makes it original.
Because
part of the reason I want to restart the blog is remind myself that I AM more
than just a mom. “Old Carrie” hasn’t died (though ironically, I feel much older
now) or been lost.
And
except for the lack of sleep, I am a lot happier now. Our marriage feels
stronger than it has ever been as we have grown so much through our new roles.
Our house is no longer just a cool house that we renovated ourselves with a
million personal touches — it’s our house that our son is growing up in. And on
the bad days, Josh thinks about how his job isn’t just a job, it’s his way of
providing for our family, which is ever more important now that he’s the only
one working. (I actually do still freelance, but I’m making about ¼ of what I
used to. Or, I guess I’ll know the actual fraction once we get through tax
season.)
It’s
not that we were living insignificant lives before, but now we are more aware
of the significance in everything.
And
with that, I’m going to enjoy my chocolate mousse that Rye and I made before I
put him to bed, then heading to bed myself. Because he’s getting up at 6:15
these days…
So glad you're back to blogging! I love your writing. :)
ReplyDeleteMarjorie
Love. it. I value your writing style and voice a lot.
ReplyDelete